“Intuition is the whisper of the soul.” – J. Krishnamurti
I’ve heard it many times throughout my life; that inner voice whispering through my soul and guiding me forth as I’ve stumbled along my life path. Every day we’re faced with choices; sometimes, the decisions we need to make are crucial to the way our paths unfold. Other times, the choices are much simpler. All of the time, though, there is an unseen part of you and me that has no motive other than to love and guide us through our physical experience here on the earth plane, and that presence ultimately wants the best for us and our soul growth – the higher self.
Hold on a second, I know what you’re thinking – but before you go jumping to conclusions, I’m not planning to conduct a lesson in spirituality here. That’s not my gig. I’m no Wayne Dyer or Matt Kahn, although I have enjoyed their teachings. I’m no self-proclaimed guru, or Zen master either. That’s not me. My intention is to create a place I can share my thoughts and perspectives. Some I’ve gathered through my experiences in the external world, and some I’ve learned from the eternal space we find within ourselves – the great silence. Besides, it’s my belief that spirituality is very personal and something that needs to be experienced in order to understand.
Now, where was I?
Oh yeah, the higher self of yourself. The beautiful presence that stalks you like a shadow you just can’t shake. That all-knowing, all-encompassing part of you that connects you to all things, including source energy. Actually, it’s the essence of source energy, and if you understand that notion, then you’ll understand what Neville Goddard and U.S. Andersen meant when they wrote “You are god.” Or indeed, how powerful and symbolic the words “I am” are.
It doesn’t matter whether you acknowledge this pure part of yourself as it’s there regardless. How you choose to use that higher guidance is entirely your decision. Have I always listened to my inner self? No. The truth is, it has taken me many years to learn how to cultivate and nurture a relationship with this invisible part of myself and to arrive at a point where I am comfortable enough to trust it. Can you imagine how many more years it has taken for me to gather enough nerve to even write about this stuff?
Lots and lots.
I can think of many instances when I’ve listened to that inner voice, even before I was self-aware enough to really grasp the reality of those rich inner layers. Of course, there’s been plenty of occasions when I’ve chosen to ignore my inner guidance system too.
I’m going to touch on one of the times when I actually listened before I had gained enough insight and awareness about myself; the section of my life when I lived beneath the veil of ignorance. I was about eighteen years old and in the middle of a turbulent relationship (young love – you got to love it). It was a late Saturday night and my boyfriend had thrown me from the comfort of his ride and left me alone on a dark Sydney suburban street. It was punishment for standing up for myself. This guy was sweet at times but he could be a real hot-head.
I had two choices. I could walk the half-hour it would take to get home, which meant negotiating the Rockdale station overpass, or, I could go to the house nearby of my friend’s boyfriend, who I’ll call Grant, and ask for a ride home. Since a young woman meandering around Rockdale station alone at night wasn’t considered safe, I went with the latter option. I was no dummy, no way was I going to risk a late-night stroll over that station on my own. That was rape-bait behaviour, so it was a no-brainer. Besides, I knew my girlfriend was with him that night and she would look out for me.
The decision was made, and I set off towards the house. Now, before I get to the part where I arrived at Grant’s place, I need to back up a little and explain that Grant happened to have a little room at the back of his home and separate from the main house. Grant had recently allowed one of his old mates to occupy the room, which I’d frequented often with my group of friends. His mate, who was much older than the rest of us, had recently been released from a jail stint and had now taken up residence in our hang-out room.
I had met Grant’s friend numerous times while always in the company of my boyfriend and friends. He seemed okay, but in all honesty, he wasn’t someone I’d felt entirely comfortable around. That fact wasn’t all that foreign to me, though, because seldom did I feel comfortable around people I didn’t know.
Grant shared the main house with his ageing grandfather. Whenever our tribe would hang out at Grant’s place, it was this back room that we’d pile into and sit around and listen to music or watch movies. A rather serious looking Pitbull terrier lived there too, and I remember being a little concerned about entering the backyard alone with this dog on guard.
The point is that I had never been in the main house, and I wouldn’t dare dream of imposing on Grant’s grandfather, especially at that time of the night. Therefore, it had to be the back room. However, when I’d arrived at Grant’s house, I noticed his car wasn’t parked in the usual spot outside on the street. Hmm. What to do? I didn’t really think too hard about it at the time; it was late, cold, and I was tired. So, I decided to see if Grant’s friend was still up. He had a car, and he was nice enough. He might even drive me home, or in the very least, I’d have somewhere warm to wait for Grant and my friend to get back home, right?
So, there I was, in the dark, creaking open the side gate that would lead along the narrow path towards the back room. The Pitbull turned out to be okay with my intrusion. She knew who I was and allowed me access to the premises without a fuss. She trotted alongside me as I snaked along the path and emerged into the backyard where I was confronted by the shadowy walls of the blackened back room and the sound of light snoring.
I did what any eighteen-year-old would do in my situation; I acted without thinking. I began to knock on the window of the back room and softly call the guy’s name. It was very possible I’d considered this man was a member of my tribe, considering he seemed to always be around us of late. I’m pretty sure that was the driving thought. I trusted my friends, and Grant vouched for this guy. So, why start distrusting now?
A rustle sounded from the other side of the window; a slight movement accompanied by a mumble broke through the snoring, and it was at that precise moment that I froze on the spot while an overwhelming tingle zapped up my spine and whirled through my mind. My inner self was screaming at me to stop what I was doing. The message was unmistakable – keep knocking and I would find myself in a world of trouble. A clear warning to retreat.
For some reason, I didn’t second guess myself that night. I listened.
My heart pounded as I quietly retraced my steps, bid the dog farewell and crossed over the creaking gate threshold. I emerged back onto the street where I sat on the brick fence outside Grant’s home and waited for him and my girlfriend to arrive. Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait too long in the cold, and I eventually got my ride home safely.
It would be a long time before I pondered the feelings that hit me that night. At the time, the moment passed and I got where I needed to be, and I didn’t take the time to acknowledge the significant message my intuition provided. Yet, there was no mistaking that inner voice warning me to stop knocking on that window. It was strong and precise, and it gripped my senses with a loud alarm that I couldn’t ignore.
I can’t predict what might’ve happened had I awoken that man, and I shudder to contemplate how it could have played out for me. Somehow, I know that something much higher than myself was looking out for me that night – a guiding presence that sought to protect me, and I chose to listen; and for that, I give my eternal gratitude. How blessed are we to have access to the wonderous tools of intuitive guidance? If only more of us would tune into the beautiful sanctuary within us and take our cues from that divine source, I’m certain this world could reach astonishing heights in evolution. There I go doing the dreamer thing again.
I love you, John Lennon 😉